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s02e15

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Episode 15 welcomes artist and sometimes cannonhead collaborator KOLA who came through with his shit in order to live score the show! Any smooth chunes you hear while enjoying the episode you can thank him for. It kicks off with the Lasers running through some topic ideas before discussing penises at war and Jay’s black out. Everyone realizes that they have a guru, who they then pit against the other gurus in a spiritual freestyle battle over beats and KOLA shares his journey to positivity while Jay shares his journey to a possible but unlikely marketing gig. They cover Top of the Hour and answer deep stuff before weighing the pros and cons of working on the ocean and talking the relevance of the past to the present. Mike swears he has issues, Jay talks removing himself from a party and KOLA talks being a popular Montreal busker - good, bad and ugly. To close out the Lasers discuss the toll of emotional exhaustion and Jay tells a weird story about a dep-spute (dispute at a dep*) before KOLA performs a song. Lasers!

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Dep is Quebecois for “Corner Store”


 

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s02e02-lifeisfluxed.png

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Ooooo shoot Lasers on the Ride is back for another season!! To kick off episode 1 the Lasers rank various talk show hosts against the Carson Daly benchmark before Jay reveals the dirty secret that he watches unboxing videos on youtube. They discuss their early stabs at rapping and talk why someone might re-use a freestyle verse or Jay Leno might and did re-use material for an entire career. They critique theme songs that Jay made for season 2 that don’t make the grade and argue about how uncomfortable you need to be in a cabin for it to fulfill cabin requirements. They discuss Diddy on Drink Champs where he made Fab (-O-L-O-U-S) and Jadakiss uncomfy and the circumstances under which they would grave rob. They round the episode out wondering whether worms can be mutilated or are in fact already mutilated, whether Russia controls the internet and whether everything is everything and how much of everything there is (infinity???).

Mase - Welcome Back
Snoop Dogg - Doggfather (album)
Daz Dillinger & WC - Late Nite
Nelly - Down in da Water
More Doggfather

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Episode 49, Seasons Change Mad Things Rearrange, kicks off with talk of hootin and hollerin at women before the Lasers answer some questions. Jay steps out for a minute only to be replaced by super canadian Kenny McMaster who joins the Lasers in deciphering rap verses before Mike insults his daughter. They play a frankensteined fudge/marry/kill and Mike kicks Akil out of sremmlife. The gang discusses whether Guwop is a nerd (unlikely), what to expect when you’re expecting (technology advancements) and Tesla’s clairvoyance. They speak modern freestyling and stolen slang before determining who would win in a fight and Akil’s dating style. To close out, they throw some show ideas at the wall and decide which ones stick and give Led Zeppelin the business.

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Merry Christmas from Lasers on the Ride!!! The episode kicks off with the introduction of a drinking game and discussions of good and bad presents of yesteryear. The gang discusses the tradition and each Laser’s respective plans for the holiday and then traumatic Christmas experiences from their youth. They broach the rules of secret santa and whether picking your own name and following through with a gift for yourself makes you a sociopath, in which case the Lasers are 2 for 4. They exchange gifts and KC’s mom videochats in and sings Little Drummer Boy for yall before KC drops a Christmas freestyle. They phone some friends to wish them a Merry Christmas and close the shit out with Eazy-E’s Christmas album.

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The Grammy Family, episode 47 of Lasers on the Ride, kicks off with talk of the recent face punching spree sweeping St Henri and the Lasers receiving real Grammy noms for imaginary work. The conversation turns quickly to masturbation before they discuss Kanye West’s emotional state and how to process one’s feelings for one’s idols. Jay gives a bad rendition of a proposal he witnessed and they discuss fighting kangaroos, some buff and some less buff. Mike shares a motivational tool his past self used to keep his present self accountable and the Lasers discuss certain changes they might have wanted to have instituted in 2016.  KC closes the stuff out with a freestyle, you’re welcome and merry christmas.

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In episode 10 of Lasers on the Ride, the first of three in the “Break-Ups to Wake-Ups” series, Mike recalls how the Knicks disrespected Phife with a t-shirt and the Lasers discuss Popeye and whether spinach was just drugs. Akil discusses his idea for a Montreal-centric tv show called “Frontreal” and wonders whether his twitter presence is too negative before Mike gets negative about microwaving fish. Mike finally addresses Akil’s hate-on for fellow producers and Akil gives us some insight into what’s really going on in there. An incredibly confident Akil launches the idea for a Lasers-only “Rhythm Roulette”, presumably forgetting that they had already planned on doing one, and Mike and Jay discuss happy accidents during freestyles.

 

Songs

Schoolboy Q - Groovy Tony

Ty Dolla Sign - Wavy

Derin Falana - Bet

Meek Mill - Slippin (Featuring Future)

Keith Murray - The Most Beautifullest Thing in the World (Instrumental)

 

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s01e01

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In this episode, the dudes from Lasers on the Ride discuss a series of topics, ranging from what exactly constitutes a freestyle nowadays to Brampton Ontario to porn company office dynamics (no Jim and Pam here). The matter of prostitutes arises, more specifically whether a man who frequents a prostitute can do so of sane mind and whether a woman can choose to prostitute herself of free and healthy spirit. Mike attempts to lead Akil to feminism and you decide whether it worked (it didn’t). The topic of why one artist might not support another artist is broached and two theories emerge, along with a bottomless pit of 'nahmeans' into which we fall. Jay poses what Mike concludes to be the hardest, most probing question of all time, and the name Jeremy Roenick is defamed, as it should be.


Timbaland - Say (Featuring T-Pain)
Don't remember haha
Geto Boys - Still
Laura Veirs - Galaxies
Curtis Mayfield - Move On Up
Curtis Mayfield - Little child, Running Wild
Mos Def - Love
SOS band - No One's Gonna Love You
 

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