In Text Door Neighbour, episode 33 of Lasers on the Ride, the dudes kick stuff off by designing their own Barbies and talking doggy tinder (Air Bud we see you). Jay introduces a typecasting game he’s called “Do you have a little bit of him in you?”, they discuss winter coats and the Lasers meet their text door neighbours. They scheme on how to sneak into Reggae Fest, speak Jamaican event vs Jamaican event and then more generally life in the West Indies. Akil nearly muscle memories himself out of his job with porn and Jay over excels at gym class.
Happy Halloweenie! In episode 32 of Lasers on the Ride the Lasers discuss spooky racist Donald Trump and his spookier supporters, including that one friend of Akil’s. They talk marriage & cheating and Akil shares some antiquated views on relationships. Jay relays a haunted house experience and the Lasers create Lasers radio. Mike asks the question no one wants to ask or have asked, Akil workshops (in rather poor taste) Pedophilia Paradisia and audio violence breaks out between B Real and Big Boy the disc jockey. Jay closes out with MURRRDDDEEERRRRRR.
In episode 31 of Lasers on the Ride Montreal comedienne Mariam Khan joins the podcast. She and Mike talk about looking racially ambiguous before she details a trip to Boston but really South Boston but really World War B. Mariam shares her love for Big Brother, Mike schemes his submission video, and Jay misinterprets the premise. The group discusses whether they’ve fallen into oedipus/elektra complexes in their relationships, play Ken vs Ryu, and speak on Brandon Lee and Kanye. Mariam teaches Danish and Jay teaches Maritimes and the Lasers introduce Mariam to the chit chat championships. Dating rears its ugly head, Mariam chronicles an evening with a cheap son of a bitch and they play Fuck it! Pick a Record!
In episode 30 of Lasers on the Ride, Sleeping with the Wrong People, Mike brings out his Organized Noize playlist featuring deep cuts including one Lil’ Will jam from 1998 that sounds like 2008, maybe 2018, maybe 2098. They discuss regional sounds and 808s vs 909s, Akil recalls a romantic event in a romantic setting and they breakdown complexes. Akil rails against the Jehovah’s Witness and Mike rails against lakes and reminisces on his time in North Carolina. Comedian Mariam Khan rolls through and tells us a little about her stand-up career and the Montreal comedy scene before the group establishes when and how ethnicities are funny. To close out Mariam shares her love for Big Brother and the reasoning behind it and they rank Canadian comedians from zeros to Norm Macdonald.
Episode 29 of Lasers on the Ride kicks off with the Lasers discussing their stinky fridge, bad artist names and whether new Toronto slang is just Britain slang is just Old Toronto slang is just West-Indian slang. They discuss weed paranoia and then just general paranoia and pit fine bitch against fine bitch. Birks Fairview catches plenty Ls and the Lasers talk tv and Treach real quick. Jay tries to get Skinny and Mike to ride a dirt bike to hell (St Lazare that’s you) and introduces a gameshowquizz. Mike and Akil talk Raphael Saadiq, the name of Jay’s funk album and alternate rap names for Mike. They talk early days of the internet, brainstorm a horror movie premise called Dial Up, and go full bonkers to end the shit.
In episode 28 of Lasers on the Ride, Dirtwork’s Scene Tings, Montreal producer/manager/getitdone’r Dirtwork rolls through, bringing artist Treh LaMonte in tow. Dirtwork shares his background, speaks on his time spent in Atlanta and talks his come-up along side Montreal legend Bad News Browns and rapper/friend Magnum. The group discusses influences and influencers and preferences in this music shit. Kanye is broached and they disagree as to the replay value of 808s and Heartbreak. They pick least favorite Kanye songs, talk Kanye’s character, and discuss/laugh as to who would win in Eminem vs Drake. Mike and Dirtwork discuss chords and process in production and agree that Drake didn’t have no goddamn ghostwriters. The gang discusses Montreal rap, the scene and its peoples, talks its politics and Dirtwork drops knowledge. They pick worst hat game, talk tucked ears and dad hats, and play what colour is Memphis Bleek’s du-rag? To close out Treh LaMonte talks his first musical influences.
Episode 27 of Lasers on the Ride, The Notorious Mookie Lee, sees the return of contributor KC and kicks off with the Lasers speaking on their roots, African mostly, and moves on to talk of Tiger Woods and other philanderers. Jay tries to spread The Arkells and gets rebuffed real quick and then tells a story of Coltrane that you have to hear to believe and then still be an idiot to believe. KC helps establish a theme song for the podcast and Jazz is discussed pretty heavily. The Lasers wind the episode down with an attempt at arriving at certain consensuses but ultimately fail – chaos reigns!!!!
In Sarah Jay Switches Lanez, episode 26 of Lasers on the Ride, Sarah Jay, Associate Editor-in-Chief at Hip Hop Canada, joins the Lasers to talk rap music and make some jokes. The episode kicks off when Sarah blows minds with the reveal of Jewish Sesame Street and delivers some insight into the Orthodox Jewish community in Calgary. The group speaks vices, whether weed makes you lazy (100% of moms say yes), and fashion blogs. Sarah names names on some rappers (MGK stand up) and the group clears the air between Sarah and Akil. Politics in Rap (trademark) is broached, Canadian rappers are discussed and the group talks circumcision, with Akil and Mike taking strong stances for and against. The group talks favorite rappers, calls out some least favorites, and plays what colour is Memphis Bleek’s durag?
Songs
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Mac Mall - Let’s Get a Telly
Big Black Lincoln - Pimpin’ Life
Ro Dolla - You’ve Changed
Saukrates - Comin’ Up
The Game - 300 Bars N Runnin’
Nickelus F - Nothing to Give
Post Malone - Fuck (Featuring Jeremih)
Saukrates - Da Professional
Memphis Bleek - It’s Like That
Tory Lanez - LUV
Cashtro Crosby - ??
Curren$y - Mary
Kaytranada - Glowed Up (Featuring Anderson .Paak)
In Multiverse, episode 25 of Lasers on the Ride, Mike reveals what plastic surgery he wants once he’s popping and Akil asks for advice on how to stick to his guns. They lose their minds discussing possible urban warfare scenarios, talk little kid producers, and mood board new hairstyles for Pusha T. To finish it off the Lasers come up with cute murder names for current/future/possibly crime ridden cities and Mike recalls his time on hella hard Delmar.
Songs
Bill Osborn - Bamboo and Rice
Red Garrison and His Zodiacs - Chant of the Jungle
Vikter Duplaix - Nothing Like Your Touch
Danny Brown - Cartier
Alvin Robinson - Fever
Big Boi - The Back Up Plan
Trapo - Bad Gal
Ervin Litkei - Music to Play E-S-P By
Big Boi - General Patton
In episode 24 of Lasers on the Ride the Lasers start by broaching buddy cop scenarios and bad bad behavior at work before they wake up KC with weed and explain why you shouldn’t call someone buddy, buddy. They discuss inspiration and the creative process and then balls and then underpants and then balls again. Ken Griffey Jr helps Mike avoid pre-2-early-ejaculation and the Lasers re-examine the white man of the year awards. Mike remarks how he’s not interested in people’s opinions when it comes to his music-stuff and Jay remarks how he welcomes the attention haha.
Songs
Slim Smith and The Uniques - My Conversation
Cannonhead - Convolution (Demo)
Lionel Hampton and His Inner Circle of Jazz - Greasy Greens
Orpheus Four - Caverns
Les Baxter - Quiet Village
The Johnny Harris Orchestra - Footprints on the Moon
The Sound Breakers - Marooned
Herbie Mann - Incense
The Distant Galaxy - Blue Scimitar
Clark Terry - Swahili
Bill Justis - The Dark Continent Contribution
Twista featuring Kanye West and Jamie Foxx - Slow Jamz
Skin Deep - P.I.T.A prt 1
Skin Deep and Jay Lindsay - Electric (Instrumental)
Skin Deep - Grind and Put in (Instrumental)
Skin Deep - Trumme (Instrumental)
Velvet Trench Vibes - Pager
The Big Game Hunters - See the Cheetah
San Francisco TKOs - Herm
The Vaqueros - Desert Wind
Ahmed Abdul-Malik - La Ibkey
Charles Wright and the Malibus - Runky
Calvin Cool - El Tecolote
The Wailers - Driftwood
Don Coats and Playbacks - Summertime
Bill Osborn - Bamboo and Rice
Buddy Collette - Taganyika
In episode 23 of Lasers on the Ride Mike and Akil pick nominees for white man of the year and consider Jay for the spot. They talk fresh white tees and move on to discussions surrounding #BlackLivesMatter, Michael Jordan, and white men’s fear of black men’s prowess. The Lasers discuss parenting techniques and some of the reprimands they survived growing up.
Songs
Some youtube shit that Jay threw on
In episode 22 of Lasers on the Ride Akil learns that he can properly punch and the guys explore various steam blowing mechanisms. The Lasers contrast Jay Z and Diddy and play a game to guess who ghostwrote some of Diddy’s most famous verses (J Cole poops the bed here). Jay tells a story of a job interview gone bad, the Lasers bring back Johnny Blaze apparel and discuss the likelihood that they were conceived near fire/hot tubs. They talk muz-ACK and Mike blows Akil’s mind/breaks his heart when he reveals that Bob Marley’s dad was white. Jay thinks bidets are a status symbol and reveals that he has never encountered a double sink bathroom...no but ever.
Episode 21 of Lasers on the Ride kicks off with SonReal hate (shots fired ahahaha) and more Johnny Cash disparaging. The Lasers find out they don’t know what an adverb is and assign Sex and the City personalities to one another (Akil doesn’t like what he hears, Mike hates Aidan, and Jay is revealed to be jazz dude). A fight breaks out outside the studio and Akil uses Mike’s lyrics to frame him for a domestic, before telling of how he once used pee as a weapon. Toronto’s Caribana is covered and 1967 is explored.
In episode 20 of Lasers on the Ride the Lasers welcome Montreal rap producer 80 Rock to the mezzanine. Conversation kicks off with talk of 80’s removal of the American flag from his much loved Polo garb collection and the gang briefly speak politics and chicken wing spots. 80 talks his production process and the crew discuss city birds vs suburb birds before Mike paints a vivid picture using latinos camping. Ken vs Ryu comes back around as does “fuck it, pick a record!” and the crew discusses the traps inherent to sampling reggae and then the intricacies of Russian funk. 80 Rock gives us some insight into his background and the dudes dive in and wade chest deep in 80s rock. The conversation winds down with Mike calling The Game a 2 X bitch for getting a butterfly face tattoo and then changing it ‘pon getting clowned and finally rapper J Red stops by to discuss hot yoga.
In episode 19 of Lasers on the Ride, the Lasers prepare for the arrival of their guest and also the microphone they desperately need for his use. First things first the Lasers attempt to fashion a fun game for him and Mike tells of how he once upon a time closely examined the data and predicted the downfall of a video game giant. The Lasers discuss the Troy Ave/Taxstone saga/telenovela, vacation spots and then teexxx meeexxxx before moving on to the soiling of pants and laxatives. Jay tells of how his radio prof once made the class listen to the racist relic that is Amos ‘n’ Andy without acknowledging the glaring issue at hand and Mike talks taco bowls and black Mexicans.
Songs
Gene Ludwig - Blue Flame
The Cure - In Between Days
The Pixies - Where is My Mind
The Replacements - Can’t Hardly Wait (Demo?)
Bone Thugs-n-Harmony - Down Fo My Thang
Prince - I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man
Motley Crue - Girls, Girls, Girls
Styx - Mr Roboto (in reverse)
Europe - Final Countdown
Rae Sremmurd - By Chance
On episode 18 of Lasers on the Ride, part 2/2 of the Meta4ce interview, the gang plays “forget it, pick a record!” and discusses the problems inherent to rap crews before attempting to establish the best one. Meta delves into the intricacies of the Christian Lebanese and tells stories of Karl Wolf’s tour rules and then of an old ass orgy involving 2 Live Crew sans Luke in Pointe Claire Village. As the conversation winds down, Meta gets inspirational and talks letting go and loving what you do and Jay introduces his new game “New England Patriot or famous polygamist?”
Songs
Twista & The Speedknot Mobstaz - Party Hoes
Lost Boyz - Me and My Crazy World
Fat Joe - So Much More (Instrumental)
D’angelo - Brown Sugar (Live in Brasil)
Karl Wolf Featuring Mo Meta- Belly Dancer
Snoop Dogg - Let’s Get Blown
Cannonhead - One (Demo)
On episode 17 of Lasers on the Ride the dudes bring in former rapper and current father Meta4ce who previously and still kinda travels the world as hypeman for Canadian sensation Karl Wolf. To start off Meta drops knowledge, including why he rolled real deep on stage, and then tells the story of how his successful club night got shut down by F1 driver Jacques Villeneuve. He moves on to how he met Karl Wolf and details their first show together. Lastly Meta chronicles some of their travels.
Songs
Ghostface Killah - One
Hank Levin and the Blazers - Midnight
Sean Kingston - Take You There
Ying Yang Twins - Whisper Song (Instrumental)
Creation a Child - Corpus
On episode 16 of Lasers on the Ride the guys are joined by rapper/battle rapper/producer Loe Pesci. First Akil and Loes discuss Leslie Jones/SNL/the Ghostbusters reboot before Loes speaks rather disparagingly on Mother Theresa. Jay attempts to live vicariously through Loes’ graffiti bombing past and Loes wonders if Lil’ Wayne is the most improved rapper of all time (he is, though alternates are provided). The whole crew wax nostalgic on No Limit Records. St Henri hero Louis Cyr is discussed though there is definite confusion as to who exactly he is. Akil and Loes discuss the joys and complexities of sampling. Mike shows everyone how Frank Ocean was foreshadowing in his rhymes and Loes gives his thoughts as to DJ Khaled and why he’s ultimately good for mankind. To close out, the gang find out the origins of the name “Hindu Kush”, Loes’ group with Sam Osa.
Songs
Borden - Fake Rappers Featuring Loe Pesci
The Blazers - Bangalore
Willie D. Featuring Scarface and Lil’ Wayne - Dem Hoes
Mystikal - Here I Go
La Planete Sauvage Soundtrack - Deshominisation (I)
Mystikal - Can’t Smoke No Mo (Live)
Yelawolf - Pop the Trunk
Jay-z - Friend or Foe 2
T.i - Be Easy
Milkbone - Keep it Real
A+ featuring AZ - A+Z
Odd Future - Oldie
Freddie “5ive” de Andrade - Brittain’s Banjo Song Beat
On episode 15 of Lasers on the Ride, the gang prepares for the arrival of Montreal bred international battle rap hero/villain Loe Pesci. Before he shows up Akil reveals his summer plans and confirms that he isn’t in fact Eeyore and Mike drops knowledge on chronic masturbation and trenchcoats. Mike establishes that he does not get down with Johnny Cash no how no way and the Lasers explore microphone techniques and develop what they call “the carabiner”. Battle rap is broached and the different eras and players are discussed. Once Loes arrives he takes us through his history and tells a great story of how Bishop Brigante got onto 106 & Park’s infamous “Freestyle Friday”.
Songs
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs (Piano Cover)
The Zombies - Time of the Season (8 bit Cover)
The Black keys - The Flame
Heavy D - Waterbed Hev
Big Punisher featuring Noreaga - You Came Up
Mobb Deep - Shook Ones (Piano Cover)
DJ Honda - Travelling Man (Instrumental)
Episode 14 of Lasers on the Ride, 2/2 of the Shogun series, kicks off with a trip down memory lane of fashion trends in rap throughout the aughts (DIPSET DIPSET DIPSET). Mase the God is broached and Shogun doesn’t get down but brings his A game to the “What colour is Memphis Bleek’s durag” competition. Buckle your seatbelts nerds because Akil and Shogun talk Batman vs Superman, Akil says “do you know your DC lore tho?” and the roof caves in (not really). Mike tells of his twitteractions with the president of Adult Swim who is actually its Creative Director and how they just can’t agree. More nerd stuff is broached, including South Park, Swingers, Scarlett Johansson, Power Rangers oh my. Jay loves bowling, Shogun drops a freestyle, and Ken vs Ryu rears its ugly head again.
Songs
Witchdoctor - Holiday
Puff Daddy feat Mase - Can’t Hold Me Down (Bad Boy Remix)
Memphis Bleek - It’s Like That
Raphael Saadiq - Skyy, Do You Feel Me?
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Showdown beat!
Showdown beat!